We have all been there. We have all played victim. Its tough to admit, most of the time, because you really are tired, or divorced, or underpaid and overworked. And there really are days were you feel like you are going crazy with the hectic schedule, loneliness, tiredness, or lack of clear life purpose.
You are somehow in pain, maybe not immobilizing pain, but a dull ache that never quite goes away. And you think this really stinks. And you say to your best friend, what can I do, this is the life I’ve been given. And you feel every ache, and every pain, and every worry, because you think about the aches, pains, and worries. So you start entertaining the idea of change. And you ask yourself Can I change? Is it time for change? And you answer YES!!! And days go by, weeks, maybe even years, and no change.
Want to know why?
The Question is Wrong
Want to know why change hasn’t happened? Because the bigger question needs to be asked. And that is…
Am I Willing To Change? Am I willing to try something different? Am I willing to ask for help? Am I willing to go outside of my comfort zone and do something that I am afraid to do? Something that may feel uncomfortable, humbling, and vulnerable?
A Quick Way of Knowing If You’ll Succeed
If I were to ask Are you willing to change what you’ve been doing and believing up to this point, that has resulted in you getting this life? And you respond I have no choices, I’m too set in my ways to change, my kids need me, my husband left me, I only have a High School Diploma or I am already doing all I can do, then I know you aren’t ready for change (yet), because it’s a yes or no question.
The Change Process Has Been Initiated
But, if I ask you the same question, Are you willing to change?, and you say yes, than half the battle to change has already been won. In that moment, the change process has been initiated. It is your decision to change that makes it possible to do so. In his book, Wishes Fulfilled, Wayne Dyer says “It is your decision to change that creates the possibility of change within you.” Once you open yourself up, a shift occurs.
Things that once looked impossible, suddenly do not look as bleak. You are ready to explore options, ask questions, hear feedback, and consider doing something different. And the minute you do these things, you cant help but move away from the pain points of being divorced, tight on money, lonely, etc, because you are doing something different, which guaranteed, will lead to a different result.
So, is it time for you to change? Well, only you know the answer to that question. But what I know for sure, is that, if you are ready and you are willing, then as Ralph Waldo Emerson said Once you make a decision, the universe conspires to make it happen.
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