5 To Thrive- Control Your Focus & Thrive
One thing I know for sure, this pandemic has taken a toll on everyone. If you find yourself feeling down, tired, or lacking direction, trust me, you are not the only one. I get it and I want to help! I will show you how to control your focus, reboot your drive, manage your moods, and not only survive but thrive in these uncertain times.
You are invited to take a 5 Day Journey with me: 5 To Thrive- Control Your Focus & Thrive, (YES!) Even in these uncertain times.
Friends, this journey is only 5 days, totally doable! Each of the 5 sections below is intended to be a manageable dose of daily coaching and inspiration, all leading you to control your focus and thrive! You are going to want to bookmark this page for quick access each day or download the PDF version here.
* As you can see, this 5-day journey was created during the Covid-19 pandemic BUT it is certainly applicable to anyone at any time you are feeling down, tired, or lacking direction!
Ready to control your focus and thrive? Let's get started!
1: Control The Chatter
On this first day, we are going to hit the ground running! 🏃♀️
Bottom line, today, I want you to turn off the little voice in your head. I promise this is a totally necessary step to control your focus!
Here's the deal: we all have it, a little voice in our head that chats away, always more than willing to fill our minds with as much low-caliber, energy-sucking, BS chatter that we will allow. And allow, we do. Until you decide not to. And when you decide, the game changes. 💡🎉
Let me explain what I mean further...
When the pandemic began, we all went through a collective wave of emotions. Starting with utter shock and disbelief over even hearing phrases such as mass casualties, closed schools, essential vs non-essential jobs, stockpile, etc. Just trying to wrap our heads around what was happening was a full-time job. Shock.
This led to a primal sense of fear. Fear for our own lives, our loved one's lives, and the lives of strangers we've never met. Fear of losing our way of life and the unknown. An overall sense of fear. 🤦♀️
However, as we moved through the shock and fear, a collective compassion began dominating our homes and communities. As we listened to Andra Day's Rise Up, we cried for the lives impacted by the virus...victims, first responders, and heeded the call, with what we do best, giving. Because in order to make sense out of nonsense, we need to give. Do. Make meaning. We made masks, meals, and videos. We gave our hearts, time, and energy. Compassion. 🙏
Until Recently...
As the pandemic has worn on, (with the exception of you personally being impacted by the virus) it feels like a collective annoyance, sense of impatience, and struggle is creeping in.😕 Is there a cause for it? Can it be justified? One can argue yes. Schedules, careers, money...so many things UP. SIDE. DOWN.
But, I would argue this, if we allow this newest batch of emotions to be our new default setting, accepting them and allowing them to infiltrate our lives, we are not only doing a disservice for ourselves but for all mankind. 👍
Friends, we have come too far to give in now. Wanting and wishing things to be different, does absolutely nothing other than rob you of joy in the now. This is the day you have, this one, right here. Do not confuse accepting what is, with the notion that in doing so, it somehow will make it permanent. As in if I lean in, accept, and even find happiness in my current reality, it somehow means I would choose it.
No, it just means you choose to bloom where you are planted.🌷And yes, even thrive.
Today, try out these 2 things:
- Listen to Andra Day's Rise Up right here, right now (click here). 🎼
- Get your gratitude on. 🙌 When you focus on good, you see more good. Gratitude offers hope. It helps us tap into the great awesomeness of this life that is hollering out for us to feel good. Hence why feeling good, feels good. Practicing gratitude will not change what can not be changed. No, but it will increase your happiness, lessen your anxiety & stress, and give you that kick in the pants to remind you of what you do have and how you choose to be with that, is ultimately up to you. 🙂
Until tomorrow, choose wellness, choose gratitude, choose to rise up. ✊
2: Find The Good, Ditch The Bad
You know I'm a big believer in having a fit mind, and I'm sure you know by now that knowledge isn't enough, you must do. 💪
So here is today's step: Turn off the news. Hard Stop. Give yourself a very specific, short amount (10-20 minutes) of time to watch each day and that is it! ⏲Gather the latest information, pay attention to what is important, and take what you personally need to make informed decisions. And yes, that can be done in 20 minutes.👌
The rest...the banter, the insults, the pointing of fingers, the endless cycle of negativity and he said/she said is not healthy for your emotional and mental health. 🚫
Are you tired? Depressed? Overwhelmed? Just look back on what you are choosing to watch, listen to, and debate about.
Stay informed. Not inundated. 🤔
Friends, I am not pulling this out of left field! We are wired with what is called a Negativity Bias. Negativity Bias dates back to caveman days when we had to be highly aware of potential dangers in our environment.🦖As in, if I am not constantly in a heightened state of awareness for danger one of two things will happen: 1) I won't get food for the fam or 2) I will be the food. 😬
So fast forward to today and this tendency to see negative more than positive is still hard-wired in us. When we do this, we pay attention to the negative more than the good. Even though the good and happy in our lives often do greatly outweigh the bad. When we stay on the negative, we fast-track it into our minds. This fast-tracking basically means our minds are like a sponge to negative, so the next time we see it, we absorb it even quicker. As in before we even know it, we are feeling shitty, depressed, tired, and overwhelmed. 👎
Make sense?
So today and each day going forward, take control of your mind and your wellbeing by actively deciding how much time you are going to devote to the news (10-20 minutes), then turn it off. This is KEY to control your focus and thrive!
Focus on the good in your personal moment or better said, find the good. It is there. It's just waiting for you to say hello. 👋
Looking for more of a deep dive into Negativity Bias? Check out a couple of resources I have in my blog. BONUS! They include videos, so you don't have to keep reading! 👍
Interrupt Those Negative Thoughts
Until tomorrow, together... we got this! 😁💐
3: When Your Mind Is Okay, You Are OKay
Friends, if my mind is okay, truly, everything is okay. And I know that to be true for you as well. If your mind is okay, everything is okay. 😁
I talk a lot about wanting you to control your focus, which is just a fancy way of saying watch what gets your attention because it is what you zoom in on and pay attention to that makes an imprint on you. This determines the quality of your life. Hence, if you control your focus, then your mind is okay. And you really are okay. 👍
💡Here are a couple of things I know for sure...
We are here, at this moment. Yes, in the middle of a pandemic. Yes, that is reality. We see that. Now, I urge you to see it as it is, but not make it worse than it is. In other words, see it, but do not allow your mind to unravel into worrying, projecting, and speculating on the future. 🤔
Deal with life in real-time. Do not make it worse than it is by traveling to other dimensions of time in your mind. 🚀
Use your mind to brighten your mood. Let's play a little game. Okay, first I want you to see things as they are. Got it? Now I want you to start painting a picture of it being better than it is right now.🎨Visualize what better looks like for you:
- Being back at your office with co-workers
- Sitting at your own desk finally pursuing your entrepreneurial dream
- Your kids are back in school
- Boarding a plane for vacation
- Eating at a favorite restaurant with friends
- Getting your haircut by a professional
Whatever it is, you are once again, expanding outside of yourself. You feel good. You feel better. 🙏
Enjoy those feelings. Invite them to stay awhile.
See what just happened there? You used your mind to brighten your mood.🤯 You don't need to be anywhere other than where you really are and this still works.
Friends, if your mind is okay, you are okay. Give your mind things to feel happy about and trust me, it will reward you with a feeling of contentment, peace, and fulfillment. 🧘♀️
Until tomorrow, I think Dale Carnegie said it best when he said:
Happiness doesn't depend on any external conditions; it is governed by our mental attitude.
4: Control the Need to Ask Why
Have you ever stopped and pondered the impact of the word why? 🤔The mere question has the power to open up worlds, expand businesses, and encourage the expansion of our humanness. But at the very same time, being at the receiving end of a why can make someone as defensive as a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar. 🍪
We are born curious. Anyone who has been around little kids knows exactly what I am talking about. It seems like there is a point in every child's life when all sentences begin with why. 👼🏻
Why...
- Do I have to pick up my toys?
- Is the sky blue?
- Do I have to go to bed?
- Do I have to brush my teeth?
Everything is questioned. Curiosity runs amok. Asking why is the vehicle from which children learn about their world, grow, and develop.
As we get older, we continue to ask why, but slowly that question is replaced with an internal compass.🧭One that is built on a combination of knowing when acquiring more knowledge is necessary, and when just knowing what is, is enough. ✅
However, I have found that some people have an insatiable need to ask why, no matter how old they are. Perhaps you know someone like this? The person who is always trying to understand and intellectualize everything. 🧠You know that friend that you can't just call to shoot the bull with. Because no matter the subject, the conversation will somehow turn into a "fact-finding mission" or a "let's intellectualize this, shall we" conversation.
BUT...
The reality is anything to the extreme can actually backfire and ultimately accomplish nothing. Including the drive to know why. 🤯
Not everything is black and white. In fact, there is a lot of gray.
Yes, there are many times in our lives when asking why is useful. It is the catalyst to change and grow, both personally and professionally. Good Stuff. 👍
Until it isn't.
Until we continue to use why as a means of control.
That's when things get messy. Stress. Frustration. Unrest. We need to know why dammit!! 😬
Friends, the reality is we may never know why.🤷♀️Fighting that fact and always searching for a reason can drive us crazy. And searching doesn't mean we will find out why. Just because you are looking for a needle in a haystack doesn't mean you will find that needle!
Thinking we need to know why something is before accepting it only robs us of peace. It causes tunnel vision, depriving us of the chance to see the good, the opportunity, and the reason that IS right under our noses. Which may be as simple as because it is.
The problem is not that we don't know the why. The problem is our need for control.
And some things we cannot control.
Ultimately, What is, is not the problem. Even wanting to know why it is, isn't the problem.
The problem is our ego trying to convince us that knowing why will give us certainty. Security.
💡The gateway to peace, contentment, and true happiness in life is in the skill of learning how to lean into uncertainty. Being okay when we are okay without needing to know why we are okay. That is when we have truly relinquished the need to know why. 😁
5: Start Bookending Your Day
There is a saying that goes: what we think about we bring about. This premise is precisely what I've been referring to in the last few days. What you choose to focus on is exactly the direction your life is going to go. Control your focus and use it to lift yourself up and bring happiness into your life. This is well within your power! 💪
This does not mean...poof, it just happens. No, we need to plan it. 🗓
Through her research, researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky has said that "40 percent of our capacity for happiness is within our power to change." Her Pie Chart Theory of Happiness shows that our happiness is 50% determined by genetics, 10% life circumstances, and an incredible 40% of our happiness is due to intentional activities. This, my friend, is incredibly exciting because it highlights one's ability to directly impact their happiness. 🤯💥
You can plan your happiness with intentional activities.
And plan is exactly what we are going to do for Day 5!
I want you to begin to bookend each of your days with an insurance policy of sorts. You are planning for the day to be successful. Happy. Hopeful. 😁Let's call it working your 40%. I am going to show you a simple yet powerful way to influence your 40%. 👌
At the beginning of your day, ask:
- What am I going to do today that I will be thankful for tonight/tomorrow?
You are in charge of how your day goes. Spending a few minutes focused on this question, every morning, is absolutely necessary to create a life that is lived as opposed to one where you merely exist. What are you going to make room for in your day? ✅What won't you let into your day? ❎
Before bed at night, ask:
- What is going to happen tomorrow to make it a great day? Plan for success. For joy. Plant the seed. 🌱
Friends, you can control your focus and thrive each and every day!
- Plan for it.
- Take the steps.
- Adjust when needed.
- Take more steps and continue.
A fit, thriving mind does not appear by accident. No, it is developed through repeated actions that support and align what you value most.
You Can Control Your Focus & Thrive
Yes, this 5-day journey over, but I want to do everything I can to encourage you to THRIVE. I love comments, so leave me a message about your progress. Hit me up on social media or send me an email (denuellemeyer@gmail.com). I want to hear from you!
Download the PDF version of 5 To Thrive- Control Your Focus & Thrive by clicking on the image below!
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PS...Have you downloaded your copy of my freebie, Slay Phrases That Are Making You Crazy? If not, click here to get your copy today! Don't miss this chance to learn how to slay what is weighing you down! Ditch the Psycho-Terrorism.