Welcome to week 26 of The Weekly Well! Here is where you will find weekly inspiration to live your best life. This week I want to piggy-back on something I mentioned in the email I sent last week...that knowledge is power. More specifically, what I mean by that is knowledge does offer power in the fact that when we know better, we do better. But friends, knowing and doing are not the same thing!
We NEED to put time and effort into the doing piece. Knowledge isn't powerful until we act on what we know!
We need to acknowledge what needs to change first before we act on what we know. We have to come to a place where we say, "ok, I know something has to change" because, ultimately, we cannot change what we cannot see.
Ladies, here is what so often happens: we know something has to change, we are acutely aware of that fact, and we file it away in this file cabinet part of our brains. Then occasionally we see it, hear ourselves think about it, see it written in a book, or even see it in a movie. Ding, ding, the bell rings, and we are like, oh yeah, that's something I need to work on!
What the heck is happening there? At times, because we are thinking about something so often, that tricks our brains into thinking we are changing. We confuse the knowing and doing parts. Making sense?!
Then, What Happens?
Well truthfully, what happens is we don't do anything. Squat. Zilch. Nada. Nothing changes! Then, we get frustrated, pissed off, annoyed, and honestly a little self-righteous. Like, I have been putting soooooo much into this, and then nothing?
We forget that all we put in was thinking power, not doing power. We didn't act on anything, and we sure as shit didn't do anything.
Friends, we confused knowing and doing.
This sentiment brings me to the most significant point I want to get across this week; that there is something that is making YOU get stuck. There is something that creates a gray area between knowing and doing. Because let's be honest if we didn't get stuck, everything would be good! We would change our bad habits and reach all of our goals. Right?!
So. We need to know where we get stuck. I promise ladies, we all have a place. That place where as soon as the shit gets real, we pull back, stop, and say, "it's getting too real for me around here, and I don't like the way it feels." Ahh yeah, I'm out, see you later.
We all have that place where we get stuck. If we can figure out where it is, there is so much power in that! We can then break through to the other side!
Are You a Hunter-Gatherer?
Ladies, some of you may be like someone I am about to describe, someone I call the hunter-gatherer. This person LOVES to research, I mean absolutely loves looking up things and researching how to do something.
Here is an example of a hunter-gatherer we will call Ann:
Ann wants to open a bed and breakfast and has dreamt of it as long as she can remember. She has books on it and can visualize the whole place in her mind. So, Ann does all kinds of research and is going to make it happen. Then, right before she opens her dream bed and breakfast, something shifts and she thinks, "hmmm, you know what, I've actually always wanted to be a wildlife photographer". Ann completely shifts gears, and dives into wildlife photography. Then, right before she buys the plane ticket to the Outback, something else clicks and she's like you know what, I've actually always wanted to do ______.
I call Ann a hunter-gatherer because she's always looking and researching, and loves that piece so much that she confuses the knowing and doing. She doesn't realize that's where she gets stuck, that's she not actually doing anything.
Other Common Ways To Confuse Knowing and Doing
Ok, ladies, maybe some of you don't relate to a hunter-gatherer, but there is still somewhere you are getting stuck!
Maybe some of the following sound familiar and are places where you STOP and get stuck.
- Right before the tough conversation
- Before the "I love you."
- After the "I love you."
- Just before hitting send on a proposal you know is badass and could propel the business
- Before you even get out of bed in the morning
You can come up with BS reasons why you shouldn't do any of those things. I am not strong enough, bright enough, or whatever enough. Your "I am" is telling you not to bother doing anything different.
We have to figure out where we get stuck for change to happen and to push through to the other side!
Where I Get Stuck
Friends, it took me YEARS to figure out where I get stuck. I am good at researching, writing books and articles, writing about things in my comfort zone, and 1-on-1 coaching. It took forever for me to realize that I get stuck after I hit send, publish, or after someone says yeah, I want it.
That's where I get stuck. I freeze. I don't want to promote the finished product, look at social media, or go any further. After coaching and a lot of time passing, I realized that I was afraid of the judgment piece. I was so fearful of what others would say about my work, that it stopped me from making it super badass. People weren't getting the pumped-up, badass version of my work.
Until I figured all of that out, I would do, I would send, I would publish. But. It would just fall flat. I could only get so far!
My story brings to mind a metaphor of buns in the oven. Stay with me! Say you are making buns for dinner, so you set your oven to 350. Then, when you go to put the buns in the oven, you turn it off. Those buns will only rise a little bit and be forever stuck in a squatty, partially-risen form.
We need to figure out where we get stuck, so we don't get caught between knowing and doing (or stuck in a partially risen form ).
Wrap It Up
Ladies, you have a place! I guarantee once you recognize that place where you get stuck, we can come up with tools to help you get passed it. You can overcome, barrel through, get on with getting on, reach the other side, and make the changes you want to make.
You can make the changes you are meant to make to be your badass self!
Without Further Ado, Here is the Twenty-Sixth Edition:
Videos do contain colorful language, so pop on some headphones if you have kiddos around!
Before I leave you until next week, I want to wish you a phenomenal week. I got YOU, and YOU got this!
Did you know I have a private Facebook group YOU can join for direct access to me and other like-minded women?! Yes, ladies, The Sisterhood For Slaying Stress and Anxiety needs YOU...click here to join!
PS...Have you downloaded your copy of my freebie, Slay Phrases That Are Making You Crazy? If not, click here to get your copy today! Don't miss this chance to learn how to slay what is weighing you down! Ditch the Psycho-Terrorism.
Do Well. Be Well. Live Well
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